Women Are Who They Are

Earlier, I stated that you might have to date a flawed woman or lower your standards. Now, some of you might be thinking: “No problem. I’ll just find a flawed girl and upgrade or fix her.”. Oh my sweet summer child. Women are who they are, and there’s little or nothing you can do to fix or change them. With a woman, pretty much, what you see is what you get it. There is no fixing a woman’s major flaws.

I fell for that line of thinking on more than one occasion. After I divorced my ex-wife, she racked up a huge amount of debt over the years. I did all of her bankruptcy paperwork for her and even set up the payments. What did she do? Skip the payments and continued to rack up debt. With another girl I dated, she had a drop-dead gorgeous face with exotic eyes and a flawless nose, and you couldn’t tell which race she belonged to. She would have been a super model. The only problems? She was heavier than a girl I would usually date, and she smoked. She only got heavier, refused to diet or exercise, and refused to quit smoking, even though she used the “I’m dieting and trying to quit smoking” excuses to lure me in and almost trap me.

I have a few other examples, but the gist of the point that I am trying to make is that women don’t change. If anything, they get worse. Heavier. More prescription drugs. Moor poor financial decisions. Once she leaves those formative teenage and early college years, they pretty much are who they are. Not to say that you can’t polish the good things that are already there, because you can, but you pretty much have to accept the bad with the good.

Is it all bad news? No. I’m just saying that you are wasting your time trying to change things that you don’t like about a woman. And if you attempt to do so, they’re going to get defensive, yell at you anytime you point out or try to fix said flaw, and may even call you emotionally abusive just because you aren’t going along with their narrative of being fine the way they are. There simply is no winning. Your best bet is if you notice a flaw that you can’t live with, or the possibility of it getting worse, is to leave her as soon as possible.

Going back to the good, you can actually polish the things about her that you actually like. And in some cases, they may even eventually outshine the bad. Does the good about her have the potential to outshine the bad? That’s the decision you have to make. Either way, trying to change the bad things about her is a losing game. No matter which angle you try to take with them, if you try to change them, be prepared to get the same reaction a drug addict gives when someone tries to take their drugs away. It’s not going to go well for you.

Don’t Leave A Good Woman

I previously mentioned that if you find a good woman, you should keep her, because it will be years, and years, and years, before you find another one, if at all. I also mentioned that after college, the chances of finding one without major flaws, is next to nil, unless you are a slayer, and even then, refer to the first sentence of this paragraph. Good women are quickly taken, and you’re kind of screwed if you find one and leave her. Some might be thinking: “I know I can find other women, so I am going to leave the one I have and play the field.”. Rookie mistake.

You don’t stay with a good woman because another good one will be incredibly difficult to find, you stay with a good woman because of all of the potential things that could go wrong, and I’m not even referring to you getting injured or losing your job, and being unable to rely on your parents once you reach a certain point in adulthood. I’m referring to all of the things that could go wrong should you mistakenly choose a bad one. After dating so many women throughout my life, most had major issues with the potential to screw me for ten or so years and possibly life.

Let me get a little personal again. I left a perfectly good girl to be with my ex-wife, simply because I was bored with her. It turned out to be that my ex-wife had a medical issue that caused my now deceased son to be disabled. My ex-fiance had a bankruptcy on her record, and it turned out to be that she is unable to have kids; neither of which I knew about going into the relationship. Another ex-girlfriend was trying to get pregnant by me so she could trap me; she later said that if I broke up with her after having a child, she would have tried to get every single penny she could out of me.

And don’t get me started on the men I know that chose bad women; women that they didn’t necessarily know were bad in the beginning. I know a guy that is paying alimony from two previous marriages. I know a guy with a good job that lives in the ghetto because the child support payments are killing him. I know a guy that caught a serious STD. I know a guy that has a wife in a nursing home due to a medical issue she has. And I know several men whose wives never sleep with them. The consequences of choosing the wrong women can be astronomical and life changing in a very, very, bad way.

Leaving a good woman that you know well just isn’t worth it. Is she a little boring? Not worth leaving. Is she not exciting in bed? Not worth leaving. Is she not as hot as other women that you think you can get? Not worth leaving. Is she not the greatest cook? Not worth leaving. Even if she nags you a little? Not worth leaving. The potential gain from leaving her just isn’t worth the astronomical life changing risks you take on with other women. And for many of those risks, if they are realized, there are no do-overs.

The Reality Pill

Someone recently made a comment about me being blue-pilled or whatever. It’s interesting, because I don’t subscribe to any of those pills; blue pill, black pill, red pill, whatever. Thinking about it, there are people deeply rooted into whatever pill they subscribe too. Most of these guys are keyboard warriors, men women aren’t interested in, or outright simps always throwing m’lady on a pedestal. The commonality between them all, is that in general, neither group really has a lot of experience with women.

If you subscribe to that mess, then there’s a good chance that you are throwing away several chances with women. You have probably been in situations that called for one thing, and then did another based on some non-sensical internet philosophy about how a woman is thinking or how a woman should be treated. And the worse part about it, is that you probably knew what the right call was, but was too stupid to act correctly because of some kind of philosophy. I know that I have done it.

You know who does the best with women and in life in general? People that react to the situation at hand, without relying on some kind of rigid philosophy. Even if something worked for someone else doesn’t mean that it will work for you. That is a recipe for disaster. I have seen men lose women because they tried to spout some red pill woman-hating non-sense. And the worse part about it is that they felt good about it. They cared more about their internet philosophy than results.

Do you know what’s more important than these pills that everyone talks about? Experience. Personal experience is better than any of these internet philosophies. Experience tells you what a situation calls for. It also tells you what will work for you, even if it goes against some kind of principle. Now that’s not an excuse for being stupid. If something seems ridiculous or never gets you the result you want, then that’s on you. I can so see a guy saying: “I’m not red pill; I should be open to everything, therefore, I’m going to blow a ton of cash on this stripper to try to get her to sleep with me.”.

What’s important here, is nuance. Nuance is understanding that it’s okay to buy a girl a drink, but stupid to buy a bottle. It also means understanding that buying the bottle makes sense if you have deep pockets or you’re buying it for the girl and her friends that you invited to come along. Pills don’t matter. Reality does. Success comes with being flexible in your thinking and doing what the situation calls for.

Should You Date Women With Kids?

Earlier today, I said that if you haven’t found a good woman by the time your college years are over and you aren’t an absolute slayer, you will have to pick your poison. You can continue to deny it, but the longer you wait, the worse your options will be when it comes to women, and the more baggage you will have to take on. I have never seen an older non-slayer guy get a decent woman in my life. They all had to choose a woman with some kind of baggage, or stay alone to wallow in their own self-denial. I also stated that the only way to change the inevitable was to drastically self-improve on a massive scale, which is very unlikely for most men.

With all of that being said, if you have to pick your poison, which “poison” is best? From my personal experience, and watching the men around me for years, the best outcome is to date a woman with a kid. Women on meds and anti-depressants tend to be dead in the bedroom and have crazy mood swings. Heavy girls almost never lose the weight, get bigger, and it is usually a sign of much bigger issues in their life. Women with crazy amounts of debt barely, if ever, pay it down, and will try to drain your bank account. Women that are too old tend to be on a different cultural wavelength and might not be able to bear children. And women who don’t work don’t really contribute much to your life.

Women with kids? They can be worked with, especially if you’re older. It really depends on the woman, the kid, and the kid’s father. If the kid’s father is civil and pays child support, then it’s not really hurting you in any kind of significant way. If the woman has a good job, even better. And there is also a chance that the woman is actually one of the good girls that I talked about and is now back on the market due to the dad being a deadbeat, cheating, or whatever. You also have a good chance of getting a girl much more attractive than what you would normally get, and they work harder to keep you if you’re a decent guy to their kid.

Now I’m sure the red pill and black pill crowds are going to go yelling “cuck” and cite some scientific drivel, but we are talking about making the best of a not-so-good situation. And if you’re happy with the girl, then that’s all that matters. A woman with a kid is the best case of a worse-case scenario, which just so happens to be the most likely scenario after college. This is assuming you aren’t dating internationally for whatever reason.

I have dated women in various scenarios, and a good woman with a kid is the best case scenario for most post-college aged men, especially if the kid is young enough to see you as his or her father. Oftentimes, in our heads, we make things to be worse than what they really are. I’ve dated women that have a kid, and once you filter out all of the noise from the red pill and black pill crowds, the reality of it isn’t as bad as you think, especially if you’re getting an otherwise good woman in return.

Congratulations. You Are Now Average.

I was reading a post on reddit some time ago, and the kid was complaining about his current situation in life. He was so happy he got his college degree from a good school, but complained about his crappy job situation over the past year or so. He had a crap job and had also sent out hundreds of applications without receiving a single offer; he had did the resume reviews, visited his college career office, had internships etc.. Then there are the guys that write a dating profile, upload decent pictures, and do basic things like going to the gym. They then stand-up and shout: “I did all of the things that I was supposed to do. Where is my prize?”.

Every time I see one of these stories or posts, I smile. Cute. These guys have no idea. They think that just because they started from the bottom, and put in a lot of work, that they are now owed a prize. What they often don’t realize is that because they started from a position so low to the bottom, that all of the work they put in just made them average, even if it was very hard work for them. They are now at the level that guys who have been putting in work all their lives are at.

And I get where they are coming from. I grew-up dirt poor, and college was a grueling obstacle course for me, but I understood that all of the work I was putting in was just to get to the starting line as an average guy. I could now compete with kids that were prepared for college for their entire lives. The same went for women. I was in shape, had a half-decent job, and had decent dating photos, however, that didn’t entitle me to a prize. I was now average.

What you have to realize, is that even if you worked hard to get there, average doesn’t get you anything. The game only begins once you get to average, even if average doesn’t feel like average to you because of all of the work you had to put in to get there. And getting above average isn’t easy, otherwise, it wouldn’t be called above average. Think about that for a moment.

Once you get to average, that’s where the real work begins. You have to go above and beyond, you have to get creative, and you have to do and try things that don’t occur to the average guy. Think about the three hours in the gym I would spend and all of the supplements I would take. Think about the hundreds of photos I would take just to get five or so decent ones. Think about those “Getting To Six Figures” posts I wrote awhile back about how creative I had to get and how much work I had to put in to get there.

Getting to average is not an excuse to be lazy and just expect things to happen. Average is where you really have to start asking yourself: “What can I do that the average guy isn’t doing? How much more work can I put in than the average guy? Is all of the work I put in thus far placing me at the level of my competition or above it?” Just because it was hard to get there doesn’t mean it’s better than average. And there is no prize for being average.

Date Women of Similar Value

There is a group of men out there that does manage to get the occasional date, but refuse to settle down with one of the women, even if they are looking to get married. What these men are holding out for, is for a women that they perceive to be smoking hot. And on occasion, they do get a smoking hot one, while smiling from ear to ear. Then the relationship falls apart, or they get absolutely wrecked in one way or another.

Although these men might get the occasional smoking hot girl, they can’t figure out why they can’t seem to get one to commit. Or if they do commit, they can’t figure out why they get wrecked by these women, whether it’s through divorce, financial rape, cheating, or starfish sex. These men haven’t figured it out, but they messed up by not dating a woman of similar value. Dating a woman of similar or slightly lower value than you will eliminate a lot of those issues.

As a man, one the worse mistakes that you can make when looking for a relationship, is dating a woman that is simply tolerating you. She knows she is of higher value, but you somehow convinced her to date or marry you. This is an absolute recipe for disaster and an unhappy relationship. You want a woman of similar or lower value than you. My wife says that I am her dream guy and that I have everything she has ever wanted in a man. That’s why she is happy and she works hard to keep me happy.

You also don’t want to date a woman of a higher value because you will start the relationship off with nothing but headaches. She will be demanding, nothing you do will satisfy her, and you will be constantly stressed out trying to make her happy, worrying about her cheating, and miserable because you have to beg for sex or spend all of your money on her. You want a woman that is loyal, is happy with you, and enjoys having sex with you.

Some may say that anything worth having is worth working hard for. If you worked hard before getting the woman, then this is true. It’s not true after you already have the woman. It’s a sign that you’re dating a woman that has more value than you, and once the initial allure of having her wears off, you will be miserable and pay for it dearly. If you really want a happy long-term relationship, then date a woman of similar value.

Resources For Dating International Women

I’ve mentioned dating international women a few times already, so you might be wondering where to meet them. First and foremost, I recommend dating the local ones; the ones that are already in your country. If you run across a girl with an accent, go for it. At the very least, you should be trying to befriend them so that you can meet their friends. What you’ll often find is that most are friendly, and don’t have the same standards as western women when it comes to looks and status. They just want you to look halfway decent and be confident.

That being said, what can you do in the meantime to get started? You can either go directly to another country to meet them, or you can try these sites:

https://www.brazilcupid.com

My experience with this one has been mixed. A ran across a couple of gold diggers and a couple of legit good women that never asked me for a penny. I was in a relationship with one from Sao Paulo for a couple of months, until I broke up with her to date someone local. She was super nice and didn’t give me any red flags.

https://www.latinamericancupid.com

I met a few Mexicans and Colombians through here. The Mexican women were legit nice, but I never pursued anything serious. The Colombian women were good, and I talked to one almost every day via Facetime for a good three or four months. Thought she was crazy, but she was just really into me. Flew all the way to my city.

http://www.happierabroad.com/

Has a plethora of resources and a forum.

You can also find other communities if you just learn how to Google. Like I said, I have a strong preference for meeting local international women, as they are already where you are and you don’t have to worry about the long-distance thing.

The Truth About International Women

One of the things you often see spouted about in the manosphere and incel community about international women is that once they come to the west, they turn into horrible women that will just sleep around, wring every penny out of you, and leave you once they get their green card. Reading such comments really makes me doubt their credibility. My experience with international women? I dated several Asian women in middle and high school whose families came here when they were children. I also dated several international women throughout my adult life; mainly ones already in the west. My ex-fiance spent the first fifteen years of her life in Mexico. And I have also met and continue to hang out with several international women through my wife, whom all seem to be happily married or are still single.

It’s safe to say that I have enough experience with international women to speak on this topic with absolute authority. So what’s the truth about them? They are hands-down, better than local women. And what the manosphere and incel community say about them is mostly wrong. Why do I say mostly? Because trying to lay a blanket statement on all of them can cause misconceptions. My guess is that the manosphere’s and incel communities’ experience with international women is through tv, sex tourism, or social media. In other words, it’s not real legit experience.

For those of you that have seen the show 90 Day Fiance, think about the women on there for a moment. The gold-digging man-eating types were obvious from the get-go. It’s not like they were these dainty princesses and then suddenly changed when they came to America. And some of these guys met these girls through Instagram (Anfisa from Russia), sex tourism (Annie from Asia), or had modeling aspirations (Paola from Colombia). What do you honestly expect to happen in those situations? Their motivations were obvious from the start and anyone with half of a brain could have predicted what would happen when they came west. Even the little innocent sounding girl from Croatia (or was it the Czech Republic?) was still in touch with her ex; the girl that was married to the guy in Utah.

The truth is that there are a lot of good international women out there, but you can’t go on Instagram, through sex tourism, or ignore obvious red flags hoping that they turn out differently. If you want to go the international route, then date the local international women already in the west, pay attention to their background and aspirations, and don’t ignore obvious red flags. A prostitute is a prostitute, an Instagram “model” behaves the same as one in the west, and a gold digger is a gold digger, no matter which country they are from.

International women are a great option for men, especially if you’re past your college years. I highly recommend it. Just don’t use the fact that they are international as an excuse to ignore the obvious signs of a terrible one when you come across one. Based on my experience dating them, losing my virginity to one, growing up with them, being friends with them and their husbands, and marrying them, they just can’t be beat. The manosphere and incel community don’t know what they’re talking about when they say that they will just end-up like western women once they come here.

Pick Your Poison

While it’s nice to give people hope, I always like to keep things down to earth, and along with that comes giving a dose of reality. You might be wondering: “What are my chances of finding a good woman?”. I have my own experiences, and have watched my friends, as well as pick-up artists when it comes to their end game with women, so I can speak on this with absolute confidence. You most likely are going to have to pick your poison when it comes to women.

There are almost no good women once you leave college. Almost all good women are taken in high school and college, and they don’t get released back into the dating market. Do they exist? Yes. But they are quickly taken again; so quickly that they might as well not exist at all. The only realistic chance you have of finding one is if you are an absolute slayer. If you’re the type of guy that is already struggling with women, or only occasionally gets one, then you can forget about finding a good one after your college years.

I’m not saying that you need to be an absolute slayer after college because that is what a good woman requires. I am saying that they are so few and far between that it is like playing the lottery; you will have to date tens and tens of women before you run across a good one. And to remind some of you of what I mean when I say good woman: my wife cooks, cleans, doesn’t drink, is thin, doesn’t nag me, is loyal, has no previous kids, is almost always happy and has a pleasant personality, has no addictions, no mood altering medications or anti-depressants, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t smoke, is great in bed, keeps me sexually satisfied, cleans the house, has a master’s degree, no debt, works, and almost never asks me for money unless it’s for the kids or our household, never complains etc. etc. etc.

Realistically, after your college years, if you aren’t an absolute slayer, you are going to have to pick your poison when it comes to women. Every guy I know that was single after college and not an absolute slayer, is either still single today, or he had to pick his poison. He is dating or married to a girl that: has a previous kid(s), is always depressed, has some kind of addiction, is dead in the bedroom (almost no sex), is a complete gold digger that doesn’t contribute, is fat, has a ton of debt, etc. Sucks, but you really just have to pick your poison.

Is it all bad? No. But you do have a choice to make if you are no longer in college and aren’t a slayer. You will either have to take dating seriously and put in the work to absolutely excel over your competition, or you will have to pick your poison. Try to avoid it, and you are just delaying the inevitable, while your prospects get even worse. Instead of dealing with a decent girl with a kid, you’re now dealing with a girl that has a kid, debt, and is fat. Instead of dealing with a girl that has a kid, debt, and is fat, you’re dealing with all the above plus a girl on anti-depressants. Your prospects get worse as time goes on. Time is ticking. Tick. Tick. Tick. What are you going to do?

Women Want A Developed Man

When it comes to explaining attraction, everyone wants to explain it in neat little packages. It’s very easy to say attraction is all about looks, money, or status. If you’re experienced, then you know that attractiveness can be very subtle. It doesn’t fit into a neat little package, but like trying to describe what porn is, you know it when you see it. Allow me to explain how I did so well with online dating during my post blog years, in spite of being a slightly above average-looking guy.

While chatting-up women and going on dates, it started to hit me that their attraction to me was about more than looks or money. Many of them looked better than me and made more money than me. I also had a girlfriend that was eleven years younger than me and could have dated both a guy with more money and a guy that was more physically attractive, yet, she was obsessed over me. And I also had a girlfriend that usually dated men much older than me; I was the youngest guy she dated, and I was three years older than her. She was also a doctor who made a lot more money than me. There was something more to it than just looks and money.

What was it? Being a developed man. If you look at most normal-looking guys who struggle with women, you will notice that they are very inexperienced in both life and with women. They really don’t know how to deal with different personalities, opposing views, get themselves out of tough situations, be chill when the situation calls for being chill, and don’t know how to hold an interesting conversation outside of a very narrow field of subjects. These men really haven’t seen much in life and don’t really know how to do anything or handle situations that women expect men to know how to handle.

How many of these new males know how to fix anything outside of a PC? A lot of the women I dated enjoyed knowing that I knew how to fix things around the house or the maintenance on their car. How many men can talk to a woman about her problems, and can give her genuine advice based on his own personal experiences dealing with similar problems? How many men know when to shut-up and just let a girl vent or release some steam? How many men have countless stories about life experiences that make women want to extend the date or stay up all night talking to him?

I am balls deep in life experience. This makes it very easy for me to talk to women, and it’s not something that you’re going to get from a book, routine, or bootcamp. You have to leave your house, interact with people you don’t normally interact with, do things outside of your comfort zone, learn how to deal with opposing views with tact and class, and learn to fix more than just your PC. Leave boyhood behind and become a developed man. Women will appreciate it. The subtle things.