Why Unattractive Women Are Useful

Over the past ten or so years, I have noticed that outside of Chads who always get girls, there are two types of guys who play the game:

  1. The guy that can’t ever seem to get laid no matter how much advice is given to him.
  2. The guy that improves and occasionally gets a pretty decent-looking girl.

I have always looked at number one, trying to figure out why those guys can’t get laid, and reflecting on it, those guys don’t get laid because their standards are too high, and they never, ever, lower them. These guys miss out on valuable experience with women, and opportunities to naturally build-up their confidence, so when they do go after girls, they go after girls that are too attractive for them, in a sense, and they continuously come off as weird and creepy. You know the types of guys that I am talking about. They are either really softspoken when they approach women, or something just seems off about their personalities, even when they try to sound confident.

And then you have the guys that fit into category number two. These are guys that will sleep with almost any woman that isn’t absolutely positively disgusting, don’t have their standards set too high, but every once in awhile, these guys surprise you by sleeping with or dating a pretty good-looking girl. These guys naturally build-up confidence, so they don’t come off as weird or “off” when they talk to women, and they occasionally get very attractive women. These same guys may even consistently get nothing but attractive women once they get really experienced, especially if they are good-looking.

These guys get valuable experience under their belt, and it fundamentally changes their personalities to make them more natural and confident around women. There is just something about having been successful with women that changes the way you talk to and sound to all women. All of a sudden, with attractive women, you get rejected because they just aren’t attracted to you, versus getting rejected because you sound weird or have something “off” about your personality. If you have an almost zero percent success rate, as in getting sex, then I guarantee that you probably fall into category number one, assuming you aren’t absolutely overweight or physically unattractive.

I fell into category number one for awhile. I was the type of guy that wanted nothing to do with a girl unless she fit my definition of hot. And I occasionally got very hot women, including the girl I lost my virginity to and my ex-wife. The problem was that I was not getting enough experience to naturally build-up my confidence and fundamentally change my personality. When I first came to college, I lost a lot of attractive women because I sounded too softspoken or came off as weird. I am talking women that approached me because they thought I looked attractive.

It wasn’t until I lowered my standards, and started sleeping with women that I would have otherwise turned my nose up to, did I naturally build up my confidence enough to consistently get very attractive women. And that’s the god-honest truth. I had to sleep with unattractive women to get the hot ones. Until then, I was at the mercy of women thinking that I was physically attractive enough that they could look past my initial weirdness and softspoken-ness.

I am not saying that if you are a guy that fits into category number one that you have to date unattractive women. I am saying that until you naturally build-up confidence and stop coming off as weird, you should maybe just focus on gaining experience with women, versus trying to be picky and choosy. If you are a guy that has gone years with getting almost nothing, game and appearances may not even be your issue. Your issue may simply be a lack of experience, and it is affecting your personality, and how you come off to women.

Money Creates Sexual Opportunities

When we think of money, and how it correlates to women, we tend to think that it correlates with the attractiveness of the women you get, and getting women you might not otherwise get. While not inaccurate, the best use case for focusing on money, is the opportunities it will create for you to have sex with women. Many may think that if they aren’t getting laid, then their attractiveness to women is the problem. While they might not necessarily be wrong, little thought is given to not being successful due to a lack of funds to fuel a highly sexual lifestyle.

Going back to college, one of the reasons why I was getting so much sex, was because I had jobs, grants, and student loans. While it is stupid to take-out student loans if you have a job, I am not going to deny that the extra money I made from working helped fuel my sexual lifestyle. I had plenty of money for cheap alcohol and to host the occasional party. That money allowed me to meet women I might not have otherwise met, make social connections I might not have otherwise made, and place myself in situations for sex to happen that might not have otherwise happened.

And think about my post-college situation before I met my wife. Yes, I was held back by limited time, but I was also held back by the amount of funds I had. I couldn’t date more than 2-3 women at a time because dating was expensive. I often settled down with one girl simply because it was cheaper than constantly going out with new girls. Also, think about the times where you could have bought VIP, went to some pricey social event, gotten a taxi instead of walked, traveled instead of staying local, etc. etc. How much sex did you miss out on that had nothing to do with how attractive you were or anything you could have said?

All of that stuff adds-up and costs money. When you think about the employment and income situation of the majority of men, they are just broke and living paycheck to paycheck. That situation alone is going to severely limit opportunities to have sex, regardless of how attractive a guy is. If you can only afford to sit at home and play videogames, and maybe one or two drinks at a bar, then you’re probably going to miss out on a lot of opportunities to have sex just because you can’t afford a lifestyle that places you in the right situations.

This is yet another example of why money is better than looks. Attractiveness may not even be your problem. Game may not even be your problem. Your problem may just be your income stream(s). And not so much spending money on women, but spending money to create opportunities to meet more women and opportunities to create situations where sex can randomly occur. Money makes the world go round and it’s no different with sexual opportunities.

One-Night Stands Happen Quickly

You’re able to get the occasional relationship. You really don’t have much of a problem getting dates. When it comes to one-night stands, and getting them consistently, they seem to be elusive. Does this explain you? It explained me for awhile. I knew one-night stands happened, but I didn’t seem to be able to get them. And then something changed. I was able to get them all the time. What happened?

I’ll tell you what happened: I finally grasped onto how quick I needed to be to make them happen. Looking back on my random one-night stands, the window to make them happen ranged from a few seconds to a matter of less than five minutes. That’s how big my window of opportunity was, and saying five minutes is being generous. Let me repeat that again: the window of making a one-night stand happen was a matter of seconds. And in almost every case, you wont see that window coming.

Basically, your window of opportunity is as short as reacting to one clear indicator of interest. If you don’t quickly react to it, things start to go wrong and your window of opportunity very rapidly closes. Someone else could jump into the conversation, the girl could have to go pee, the conversation could go south, the girl could think you’re clueless, you could say something dumb, a more interesting guy could come along, etc. In most cases, you won’t even have time to think about it; you have to train yourself to just react before giving much thought to the situation at hand.

You won’t have time to “game”, and you won’t even have time to think about escalation, your next move, or anything else. It almost never goes the way that you pictured it in your head. You just have to be very quick on your toes and try to have sex at the closest place possible. Yes, even trying to get the girl home is a risk of things going south. When it is go time, it is go time, and the less physically attractive you are, the smaller your window of opportunity will be. Those situations where you are so attractive to a random girl that you could do anything, take your time gaming and analyzing the situation, and still sleep with her are rare.

One-night stands are a 0-100mph(kph) affair. When it is go time, it is go time. There will be no time to think about it. There will be no time to figure out how to escalate the situation. You will just have to push straight towards the goal very quickly no matter how imperfect the circumstances may be. You won’t see your window coming, and when it does, you will most likely be caught off guard, and you will have a few seconds to quickly make something happen. That is the difference between a guy who has a lot of one-night stands and one who gets interest from women, but struggles with one-night stands.

Don’t Overestimate What’s Out There

Switching gears a bit, I want to talk about something that a lot of other people don’t talk about when it comes to attracting the opposite sex: overestimating the available women out there. I’ve kind of paid attention to the relationships of my friends over the years, and I noticed a trend of a lot of them overestimating what’s available out there and either leaving perfectly decent women or getting left because they didn’t bother to do anything with their careers. A lot of these guys assume that they would be swimming in women if their relationship ever went south or they left it.

Sometimes, men assume that since things are good now, or the environment is in their favor now, that they will always be that way. I was one of those guys. I only had three marriageable women in my life:

  1. The girl I lost my virginity with.
  2. The girl I left my ex-wife for.
  3. My current wife.

You’re talking about 10+ years between numbers 2 and 3. And this is coming from a guy that had a steady stream of women in his life. I think that leaving a perfectly decent woman or not taking the relationship seriously is one of the biggest regrets that most men have. It was for me. That was why when I met my wife, I had no problem getting married quickly. I knew what was out there, especially in my age range.

I’ve seen guys get cocky and leave women, and now these guys are miserable men having no luck with dating. They’re either single and spouting that MGTOW non-sense or they can’t find a woman as good as the one they left or lost. I had a roommate after college that also got married quickly once he found a half-decent girl. I remember him saying to me: “Look at this hairline. It’s not getting any better. I don’t look good with a shaved head.”. He was one of the smartest guys I know in that regard. He knew his worth and he knew what was out there. I also have a friend that was a slayer in college and now hasn’t been laid in over a year.

As a guy, yes, it is important to know your worth and not date below your worth, but most men misconstrue that with thinking they know that they’re worth more, buy into the player or men’s rights mentalities, and end-up left alone wondering why they can’t find another woman. There’s nothing wrong with being a player or men’s rights, but if you get too cocky about it, and overestimate what’s out there, especially when you already have a half-decent woman, then you’re going to get left out in the cold, with no woman, or spend years chasing women that aren’t as good as the one you left. Don’t be that guy.

Is Work Your Best Chance?

Yesterday, I mentioned how trying to find a quality woman on online dating apps is like going to the junk yard hoping to find treasure. Most quality women are found through school, immediate social circles, and finally, through work or friends of work colleagues. If you haven’t found a woman through those avenues, then you’re in for a hard time when trying to find a quality woman. Most of you reading this are probably at the point where you can cross off school and immediate social circle. Your only realistic options are through work or by building an entirely new social circle.

What makes me so sure about most people finding quality spouses through work? I have been hit on at almost every job that I have worked at for more than six months. At one job, I even had a boss come talk to me about a co-worker that was crushing on me, trying to hook her up with me. At another job, five different co-workers hit on me at various points, tried to get someone to hook us up, or directly attempted to flirt with me. And at a few other jobs, I had customers directly hit on me. I have stories for days, but won’t mention them because they just might reveal my identity to co-workers who may eventually find this blog.

Now there are sexual harassment policies, which is why I don’t recommend going after women at work, and I have never done it. And I’ve always turned down women at work that have hit on me. With that being said, it doesn’t change the fact that most men will meet quality spouses at work or through work colleagues. Those are the people you spend 8+ hours a day with, so it is natural that relationships form. People bond to those around them that they spend a lot of time with, and it’s also why most extramarital affairs happen with work colleagues.

Some may be thinking: “What women at work? There are no women where I work.”. And that’s what absolutely sucks. If you work in a manual labor job or IT/computer science, there are no women. Open offices also suck because everyone can hear your conversations and the teams don’t feel like teams. The best environments to form workplace relationships have been small offices and places that employ more women than men. Not just because of more women and the ability to form closer bonds with your teammates, but because women tend to hang out with co-workers outside of work moreso than men do, and they are more likely to invite co-workers out.

One other thing that I’ll briefly mention, is that not only does your workplace most likely determine whether or not you will have access to quality women before they make their way to online dating apps, it also determines how likely you are to date an attractive woman. I would say that if you are an okay-looking guy, the attractiveness of the women you work with and the number of them, has a higher correlation with how attractive your spouse will be, than does your own physical attractiveness. If you’re seriously thinking of finding a quality long-term spouse and not just sleeping with a high number of women, maybe it’s time to think about your career and where you are working(?).

Quality Women Don’t Date Online

Anyone that has tried online dating has wondered why there are so many shallow unattractive women on online dating websites. On top of that, many women seem to be boring, self-centered, and not really interested in a relationship with anyone other than the absolutely perfect, flawless man. Have you ever asked, where are all of the quality women? Here’s a hint: they don’t make it to online dating websites, and if they do, they’re not on them for long, and get snatched-up within a matter of days, if not hours, never to make it back to the dating pool.

Why don’t these women make it to these online dating websites? They don’t make it to them because they’re filtered out of the dating pool before they get the chance to make it to online dating websites. For most women, dating websites are a last resort to look for a partner, especially if they are thinking long-term and not just looking for a hook-up, attention, or the absolutely perfect, flawless man. Most quality women will get taken before you ever get a chance with them, if online dating is your main focus.

Before women make it online, they will get taken by men in their social circle or work life first. In fact, almost everyone that is happily married from college that I know, either married someone from high school or they married someone that they worked with; or met through a work colleague. What this means is that if you want a crack at a quality woman, you’re going to have to put in the effort to get one within your social circle or work life first. That is where almost all women of quality will find partners. Online dating will be their last resort. And even some of those women still won’t make it online and will hold out to find a man through their social circle or work life first; that is a big reason why there are more men than women on online dating sites.

Let’s say that a quality woman isn’t even looking for a long-term partner. What do you think happens anyway? If her friends or work colleagues know that she is quality, they are going to try their best to hook them up with someone first, before they even make it to online dating websites. The same can be said for high-quality men. Do you think that if I was making six-figures before I met my wife that my friends or co-workers would have let me make it to an online dating website? Women at work were coming after me before I even made the money that I do now just because I had a decent job.

To wrap this up, if you’re wondering why you aren’t having luck with online dating, and why you can’t find a quality woman, it’s because they were taken before you even got your chance to get them. They won’t make it online. If you want a quality woman, you will have to put in the effort to socialize to get in their circles, or you will have to find a job that will give you access to quality women. The women within those environments will look at you before they make it to the men online. Women of quality don’t go online until those other avenues of finding a spouse are exhausted. If they don’t find a partner within those avenues, someone else will attempt to do it for them just because they are women of quality.

Don’t Underestimate The Small Stuff

I was out and about at the mall yesterday, and for the first time in over a year, I was wearing very nice clothes and also boots that gave me an extra inch of height. I couldn’t help but notice all of the eye contact that I received. I am married and my job has a very relaxed dressed code, so I pretty much stopped caring about clothes and wear sneakers everywhere that I go. This experience made me think. How many women have I lost in the past because I underestimated the impact of small stuff?

I went for some very long dry spells because for a period, I lived with my parents, and it very subtlety threw off my game. I went from a sure formula of taking women back to my place to trying to figure out how to get them to invite me to their place. I also went through dry spells because of the guys I hung out with. There were certain guys that were impossible to bring home women with because the women just didn’t like them. And then there were small things like RJ having an apartment downtown. Easy to take back women, but impossible to have sex because he was essentially living in a studio with no privacy; not even a bathroom big enough to have sex in.

There are many other things that I perceived to be small that impacted my success with women that I won’t get into for the sake of post length. I’m talking small things that would have such a large effect that it meant the difference between a loooooong dry spell and sleeping with two or three new women each week. This is the type of stuff that will have you thinking that something is wrong with yourself and questing things that you really shouldn’t be questioning, like your general attractiveness towards women. In many cases, it’s not your general attractiveness, but rather, small things impacting your attractiveness or success that you probably aren’t even questioning or think have such a small impact that they are irrelevant.

Reflecting upon myself, it may me wonder, how many men aren’t getting laid because they are blowing off these small things? When I look at men that I know aren’t getting laid, how many can honestly say that they are maximizing their potential? These men are out of shape, dress horribly, have terrible jobs, live in terrible parts of town, hang around losers, etc. and think that they just aren’t generally attractive to women. It’s like they have ignored the impact that these small things have on their success with women. Even Smilez and Big Country from the old blog were virgins for most of the blog because of the small things that they were ignoring. And these were 6’4″ tall white guys that constantly got attention from women.

These small things matter. They can be the difference between easily sleeping with women, and never sleeping with them, as demonstrated above. The negative impact of these small things matter more than the positive impact of big things. It only takes one broken link in the chain to completely change your outcome with women for the worse no matter how attractive other aspects about you are. Maybe it’s time to take a closer look at things that you perceive to not matter(?).

Sexless Men Impressing Sexless Men

One very terrible trend that I see in the dating community is sexless men impressing other sexless men. Blue pill this, red pill that. Black pill there, betabuxx here. Soy boy cuck, alpha Chad fucks. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I don’t deny the truth in some of what is said, and I enjoy the occasional conversation about such topics, but boy, from what I read and hear about, it sounds like the men that constantly spout that non-sense are more concerned with sleeping with each other than they are with sleeping with women.

As a man, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is focusing too much on impressing other men, and caring about what they think of the women that you are pursuing. I use to make that mistake. I lost a lot of lays caring about what other men thought about the women I pursued and caring about the feelings of other men. One thing that you need to understand very clearly is that the less a man is getting laid, the more he will try to sabotage your efforts with women or guilt you into not getting laid.

Ever notice how men having a lot of sex never really care about those things? They are too busy being happy and getting laid to care about what other men and their armchair relationship analysis think. At the end of the day, sex is sex, no matter how you get it or the type of woman you are with. Her history doesn’t matter, who she is doesn’t matter, and her motivations for sleeping with you don’t matter. As long as you protect yourself and use common sense, all that matters is that you find her attractive enough to sleep with. Deciding which women you date and sleep with based on what other men think will not benefit you. At all.

Now this doesn’t mean that you can’t be smart about the women you sleep with or completely ignore certain truths about women. Afterall, I had my wife sign a pre-nup before getting married. However, this non-stop judging of other men and obsessing over pills, how a man got a woman, and whining about the current social circumstances isn’t going to get you laid. It makes for great conversation every now and then, but that’s it. Outside of that, it only serves to help other sexless men get laid (by you giving-up a potential girl), or keep you in the company of their sexless misery.

The men who constantly judge other men and whine when another guy is successful with certain types of women are most likely getting very little sex, or none at all. If you get caught up in all of that, you’ll probably find yourself in the same camp, if not because of being a very unpleasant insufferable guy to tolerate and be around, then because no woman will ever be good enough for you. You definitely have to use common sense, but go too far with nitpicking and judging every little thing about women, then you’ll end-up as a sexless man impressing other sexless men. One thing that you need to learn about life and people in general, is that everyone has their flaws; some of them pretty big. Cut out everyone that has them, and it will lead to a very lonely existence.

Don’t Forget About Status Symbols

While the current talk seems to be about looks, and to some extent, money, status seems like it has kind of gotten brushed to the side. And while people do acknowledge status when it comes to pure fame, there is this tendency to forget that status is more than that; that it is also your rank compared to your peers, and that it isn’t necessarily about popularity, but rather what you can afford that your peers can’t.

I’ve seen well-dressed men attempting to pick-up women, and while they do seem to understand being well-dressed and clean-cut, they don’t seem to understand status symbols all that well. They forget that even if they have a great outfit and great haircut, it’s really not going to affect their results with women the way that real status symbols do. Women constantly talk about status symbols non-stop, and men rob and murder other men for them, so if they didn’t matter, why would the aforementioned occur?

Status symbols matter even moreso when you’re playing the social game. They immediately let people know if you do or don’t belong to their group, and the more status symbols that women see you with over time, the more “legit” you look, and the higher your rank in the social group goes, thus you become more attractive. If you want to gain entry or get shut out of a social group quickly, modify the status symbols that you have.

So what are a few status symbols that matter? The brand of clothes you wear, the cost of your jewelry, the brand of shoes, the job you have, the car you drive, the brand of watch you wear, the drinks you buy at a bar, etc. I remember watching an episode of Jersey Shore years ago, and the instant a guy flashed his Porsche keychain, one of the girls decided to take him home and sleep with him. I also remember going out on a date, and a girl coming out because she wanted to see what kind of car I drove to make sure that I didn’t have a certain brand of cheap car.

Status symbols aren’t going to make an ugly guy appear to be a Chad out of nowhere, but they will definitely cause women to take notice, especially within your direct group of peers. And you don’t have to be rich to attain them; you just have to have status symbols that signify that you are better than your direct competition. The key is to use status symbols that women recognize and are aware of. If they didn’t matter, then women wouldn’t be constantly talking about them non-stop. How many times do women need to say Michael Kors, red bottoms, Mercedes, and diamond this and diamond that before it finally starts to sink into your head? And please, save me the betabuxx speeches.