Over the past ten or so years, I have noticed that outside of Chads who always get girls, there are two types of guys who play the game:
- The guy that can’t ever seem to get laid no matter how much advice is given to him.
- The guy that improves and occasionally gets a pretty decent-looking girl.
I have always looked at number one, trying to figure out why those guys can’t get laid, and reflecting on it, those guys don’t get laid because their standards are too high, and they never, ever, lower them. These guys miss out on valuable experience with women, and opportunities to naturally build-up their confidence, so when they do go after girls, they go after girls that are too attractive for them, in a sense, and they continuously come off as weird and creepy. You know the types of guys that I am talking about. They are either really softspoken when they approach women, or something just seems off about their personalities, even when they try to sound confident.
And then you have the guys that fit into category number two. These are guys that will sleep with almost any woman that isn’t absolutely positively disgusting, don’t have their standards set too high, but every once in awhile, these guys surprise you by sleeping with or dating a pretty good-looking girl. These guys naturally build-up confidence, so they don’t come off as weird or “off” when they talk to women, and they occasionally get very attractive women. These same guys may even consistently get nothing but attractive women once they get really experienced, especially if they are good-looking.
These guys get valuable experience under their belt, and it fundamentally changes their personalities to make them more natural and confident around women. There is just something about having been successful with women that changes the way you talk to and sound to all women. All of a sudden, with attractive women, you get rejected because they just aren’t attracted to you, versus getting rejected because you sound weird or have something “off” about your personality. If you have an almost zero percent success rate, as in getting sex, then I guarantee that you probably fall into category number one, assuming you aren’t absolutely overweight or physically unattractive.
I fell into category number one for awhile. I was the type of guy that wanted nothing to do with a girl unless she fit my definition of hot. And I occasionally got very hot women, including the girl I lost my virginity to and my ex-wife. The problem was that I was not getting enough experience to naturally build-up my confidence and fundamentally change my personality. When I first came to college, I lost a lot of attractive women because I sounded too softspoken or came off as weird. I am talking women that approached me because they thought I looked attractive.
It wasn’t until I lowered my standards, and started sleeping with women that I would have otherwise turned my nose up to, did I naturally build up my confidence enough to consistently get very attractive women. And that’s the god-honest truth. I had to sleep with unattractive women to get the hot ones. Until then, I was at the mercy of women thinking that I was physically attractive enough that they could look past my initial weirdness and softspoken-ness.
I am not saying that if you are a guy that fits into category number one that you have to date unattractive women. I am saying that until you naturally build-up confidence and stop coming off as weird, you should maybe just focus on gaining experience with women, versus trying to be picky and choosy. If you are a guy that has gone years with getting almost nothing, game and appearances may not even be your issue. Your issue may simply be a lack of experience, and it is affecting your personality, and how you come off to women.